Best.Video.2010.

Emma getting her iTouch.

Here Comes my ArchNemesis Here Comes my ArchNemesis right down Santa Claus Lane

Okay, okay I'm joking. I'm going to give Santa a break and try not to ruin the magic for my kids by making it all about me. But really, is that sooo wrong?

Good news with the itouch drama. After all my moaning and groaning, my sister called me and is going to pay for half. So we're in!!! All I have to say is, when Emma opens that present, I hope she screams like the little girl she is.

We are heading down the pike here for Christmas. I think I am just about done here. Gary asked what I want for Christmas and I said:
a new house
an Audi Q7
uggs
xbox kinect
oh, and maybe a wallet.
Do you think that's too much? Really, we don't get much for each other for Christmas cause we just don't care. Let's face it; for adults, it's basically Christmas all year long. If we want something, we just go get it. And we are usually too busy making fun of the Kay and Zales jewelery commercials to do anything productive.

I know you have been eagerly anticipating my favorites for this year so I will not keep you in stitches any longer. Off the top of my head:

music: Metric (i KNOW it didn't come out this year), Brandon Flowers solo album, and The Lower Lights, which I am also getting for my Dad for Christmas.

books: I read a lot, but the two that stand out for me are The Passage (which scared the stink out of me) and Mockingjay. Also, Dark Road to Darjeeling, the fourth in the Julia Gray series.

tv shows: Fringe, The Middle, Modern Family (even though the gay couple has a robot baby--honestly no baby is that good. Okay, FINE I'm jealous.), my husband loves The Walking Dead but I spend each episode under the covers with my fingers in my ears, and any nerdy history/military documentary that comes on.

magazines: I am still weeping over the demise of Blueprint, Domino, and my favorite: Cottage Living. I am too bitter to pay any mind to this category.

Okay that's it, as jack is awake.

I will leave you with a fun link: The Jolly Porter's review of David Archuleta singing with the Mo Tab. It is hilarious. If you need any Mormon Lingo translation, I will be happy to provide.

Merry Christmas all!! Thanks for spending another year with me.

Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHARLENE!! You are finally as old as I am now, so I don't feel so alone. At least for three months anyway.

Surprises

Tonight we went to (what started out to be) the engagement party of my cousin, Adam. They rented a house down the road from us, so we walked down there promptly at five to join the celebration. White lights were strung through the trees in the back yard, a full moon rising, and those neat little tissue paper flowers in the trees. We talked and laughed, and then my Aunt Heidi asked us to all take a seat. We did, Louis Armstrong came on, and then....Adam and three friends came out in a tux, shortly to be followed by his fiancee Tiffany, in her white dress. What a wonderful surprise!! She looked lovely, the air was electrified with happiness and love, all of us teary as my Aunt married them under the trees (this is Florida, so we can still do that in December!). I think that perhaps I was more emotional at this wedding because it caught me by surprise. We had such a lovely time, and Emma was thrilled when her cousin Sara gave her her bridesmaid bouquet. It was a simple and relaxed wedding, much like the happy couple.

Then when I came home, I got another surprise, this one not so happy. I realized my zipper was down the whole time. Yay me!!
**************
Christmas is coming! Are you ready? I am almost there. Except for Laura. I do not know what to get this child. I am still thinking. I also feel a little bad for Emma, since every single one of her friends are getting an iTouch for Christmas. We just don't have the money. But as my friend Mandy reminded me, you don't always get what you want for Christmas. My present I didn't get? A Cabbage Patch doll. Remember those? Ugh. Now I think that one worked out for the best.

I am at peace, though. Truly. Two years ago we had a Christmas where my girls got three gifts each. Gary did not have a job, we had no money. They got very inexpensive gifts. I was bracing for their disapointment. It didn't come. That caused me to do a lot of thinking. I am really simplifying this story, but the point is I think we as adults often project our own insecurities and needs onto our children, giving them more than they need or trying to make everything perfect.

What would have been perfect? To create a zipper that doesn't fall down in public.

WHAT a big help

I moved my table decorations from the table to the stairs so I could dust. Then I turned my back.


I thought I heard something behind me......





He is super fast.

Take that, Santa

Jack only cares about the lollipops.

I totally hate Santa. Did I ever tell you that? He totally gets on my nerves. Someone tell me why I scrimp and save all year long, stand in a line at four in the morning to get a DS, keep moving presents around to a new hiding spot every day or so in order to evade Emma, and some fat guy in a red suit gets all the credit for it? I don't think so. Yes, I guess I'm narcissistic. But at my house Santa brings ONE present and one present only so I can bask in all the credit. Oh, and Gary too. I guess. Although was he there beside me at 4 a.m. in Hell (otherwise known as Wal-Mart)? No, he was not. He was in bed.

This is not at all what I meant to type about. So don't worry, rant over.

This is what I meant to type about:

We went to our little city's holiday celebration. Should I have capitalized that? Whatever. Anyway, we went into the basement of the historical building (the only basement in Florida?) in order to have our children sit with the rather poor man's version of Santa. We have a small budget. Anyway, we stood in line, and I watched toddler after toddler cling to their parent so they didn't have to sit with the attention grabber. I mean Santa. When our time came, Jack scrambled up the stairs and onto the stage. He had no problem hopping onto Santa's lap for the picture. We had a bit of a problem getting him to actually LOOK at the camera instead of the box of lollipops on the floor next to him. Frankly, Jack could care less about big red fat guy or the camera. He just wanted the lollipop.


Finally, I took my shots, and as I began to carry him off the stage, he said as loudly as humanly possible: "BYE BYE SHESUS (Jesus) I YUV YOU!!" Then he blew him a kiss. Me: Jack that's not Jesus. That's Santa. Jack: SHESUS!! BYE!!! YUV YOU!!!

Jesus 1, Santa 0.

Although technically, for Jack it would seem like any guy with a beard could be Jesus.

I would also like to add that when I said "That's Santa," I said it in the same tone as Jerry Seinfeld when he would say "hellooo Newman." If you catch my drift.

Clearly I have unresolved issues about Santa, but that will have to be in another post cause Fringe is over and now I'm going to bed.
good night.

all dressed up

I'm not so great at math, but I can tell you that the more kids you have in a picture, the harder it is to take a good one. Here are my attempts at capturing the little ones all dressed up in their Christmas finery for church on Christmas Sunday.

(you can tell this is pre-haircut for jack)

I love Christmas Sunday. I love everyone dressed up--especially the children-- I love looking out over the congregation and seeing all variations of Christmas colors. I love singing the Christmas music, especially trying to bust out the harmony on "Angels We Have Heard on High." I like teaching the children that day, and watching them make their presents for their parents, chatting while they make cards to go with it. I like their squeals of delight when I give them those lame-butt Christmas tree cakes from Little Debbie.

And I really like dressing up the girls in their coordinating dresses (how much longer will that last?), laying out their shiny black church shoes, seeing them get excited over picking out their hair accessories, etc. It's just kind of fun, you know, a fun nerdy little tradition. Then I go back to my underachieving life already in progress.

Another dose of blog reality.

Jack, wishing his mom would stop blogging and make him some dang Christmas cookies already

I personally think that out of all the blogs read by the six people on the planet who read this one, mine should definitely be your favorite.

Why? I will never make you feel bad about yourself. I am not crafty, I am not really so very talented, and I can't make crap. Seriously. So you will never read this blog and say, "Wow, I wish I were a mom like her. She's so amazing, like the perfect woman." No, instead you will say, "Damn, I'm doing pretty good."

What brings this on? Well this is about the time when I get the Christmas poop-out. Not literally, after all we haven't eaten at Gary's family's yet. Ha ha ha ha just a little joke if anyone from his family reads this. Yikes. Anyway, I always have BIG PLANS for Christmas on Dec. 1st. But by this time, I feel like most of it hasn't happened and I don't know how to squeeze it all in.

I still have baking, shopping, and lots of blah blah blah to do. And I have exactly two and a half days to do it. I need a personal assistant or something.

Also, I am very frustrated that I can't find peppermint ice cream. I LOVE peppermint ice cream at Christmas. I have been all over creation, to three different stores in one day, and no peppermint ice cream. I did complain about this at The Greatest Grocery Store in the Entire World (Publix, of course, although the Monoprix in France ain't bad either, n'est pas, kind of like a Target in France). They said in their helpful, Publix-y way, "Well maam, we have Santa Claus ice cream!" I was able to stop myself from throwing myself prostrate on the ground and yelling, "BUT I DON'T WANT SANTA CLAUS ICE CREAM! I WANT PEPPERMINT ICE CREAM!!" But I didn't, because it's a small town and all that. Probably the one time I throw a tantrum the boy-I-haven't-seen-since-we-went-to-prom-together-who-dumped-me-because-I-wouldn't-have-sex-will be there and see me for the first time in all my glory. So there goes that idea.

Well, I have to go. It's time to make a list of all the spiritual/material/physical/bubbly/sparkly Christmas things we haven't done yet.

Oh, and if you haven't gotten a Christmas card from me yet, take heart. I finally ordered them today. With any luck you'll get them before Valentine's.

p.s. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHARLENE!!! Don't freeze your Boston buns off on your birthday!!

The pictures that actually should be on our Christmas card...

To me these pics typify our family much more accurately.
But I don't think I have the guts to put them on and have them go to Gary's clients, etc.
Boooo me.

Happy Hanukkah Day

This past week I feel like I am doing nothing but playing catch-up. I feel constantly behind, not measuring up, and trying to remember everything I have to do but mostly remembering what I've forgotten. Overwhelmed.

So, Saturday we devoted to cleaning cleaning cleaning organizing cleaning, and then to finishing our Christmas decorations. I had had mostly everything up, but somehow the tree did not get decorated. So, after the house passed inspection, we made Christmas cookies, decorated the tree, and went to the end of our dock to watch the Holiday Boat Parade. It was a nice night.

Sometime during the day I must have mentioned that it was the first day of Hanukkah. We have some dear Jewish friends, and my girls remember doing Sabbath with them, and some other fun Jewish celebrations.

So as we are eating cookies and decorating the tree, trying to keep Jack from eating ornaments, and peeking out the back windows to see if the boats had reached us yet, the girls singing along to Christmas music, I hear Laura sigh happily as she reaches for a tall branch and say, "Oh, Mommy, I just love Hanukkah Day." Gary and I had to do everything we could to keep a straight face.

I always have the most ferociously ugly tree on the block and I love it. Well, not the tree, just the decorations. The tree is a fake one for the past two years. It was my Great Aunt's tree. She died of breast cancer about three years ago, and I would take care of her as she became weaker and noticed she left her tree up long past Christmas. At that point in time she had to sleep on the couch in the living room for comfort. She would keep the tree lit all night long, and it brought her great comfort and joy. Of course when she had it up, the ornaments matched and coordinated perfectly and it was a sight to see.

Under my care, however, it is still a sight to see, but for very different reasons. It is now a hodge podge of mismatched hillbilly ornaments. All my kids' homemade ornaments, their picture keepsakes, are all on the tree. I let them decorate it with no interference from me...with the exception of a few expensive and breakable ornaments I place at the top (like my beloved Disneyland Paris ornament with Sleeping Beauty's castle). This is MONUMENTAL for me because I'm a terrible control freak so it is saying something for me to let my tree have 552 ornaments on the bottom three boughs and a few scattered ones at the top. But my feeling is that I only have my children excited and small for a few years, and then it's gone forever. It won't be long before they don't have the same magical excitement, and then I guess I can coordinate it all I want. So for now, go ahead and wince when you walk in and see it, but it makes me happy the way it is.

This picture does not do justice to just how ugly it is. I think the piece de resistance is the baby gate surrounding it.

On the dock, watching the parade of boats all decked out in lights and decorations.

To see pictures of the boat parade, go here

Trust me, it's worth it.