Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Take that, Santa

Jack only cares about the lollipops.

I totally hate Santa. Did I ever tell you that? He totally gets on my nerves. Someone tell me why I scrimp and save all year long, stand in a line at four in the morning to get a DS, keep moving presents around to a new hiding spot every day or so in order to evade Emma, and some fat guy in a red suit gets all the credit for it? I don't think so. Yes, I guess I'm narcissistic. But at my house Santa brings ONE present and one present only so I can bask in all the credit. Oh, and Gary too. I guess. Although was he there beside me at 4 a.m. in Hell (otherwise known as Wal-Mart)? No, he was not. He was in bed.

This is not at all what I meant to type about. So don't worry, rant over.

This is what I meant to type about:

We went to our little city's holiday celebration. Should I have capitalized that? Whatever. Anyway, we went into the basement of the historical building (the only basement in Florida?) in order to have our children sit with the rather poor man's version of Santa. We have a small budget. Anyway, we stood in line, and I watched toddler after toddler cling to their parent so they didn't have to sit with the attention grabber. I mean Santa. When our time came, Jack scrambled up the stairs and onto the stage. He had no problem hopping onto Santa's lap for the picture. We had a bit of a problem getting him to actually LOOK at the camera instead of the box of lollipops on the floor next to him. Frankly, Jack could care less about big red fat guy or the camera. He just wanted the lollipop.

Finally, I took my shots, and as I began to carry him off the stage, he said as loudly as humanly possible: "BYE BYE SHESUS (Jesus) I YUV YOU!!" Then he blew him a kiss. Me: Jack that's not Jesus. That's Santa. Jack: SHESUS!! BYE!!! YUV YOU!!!

Jesus 1, Santa 0.

Although technically, for Jack it would seem like any guy with a beard could be Jesus.

I would also like to add that when I said "That's Santa," I said it in the same tone as Jerry Seinfeld when he would say "hellooo Newman." If you catch my drift.

Clearly I have unresolved issues about Santa, but that will have to be in another post cause Fringe is over and now I'm going to bed.
good night.


  1. Amy,
    This is another Gem! You make me laugh so hard. And the problem is, it makes me miss you even more.

    That Santa cracks me up. He looks like he's peeking through a hole of synthetic white fur. How can he breath?
    ps I JUST started Hunger Games.

  2. I loved Hunger Games. Some people hated it because of all the death, but honestly, who hasn't wanted to kill off teenagers?

    I miss you too. And good old Peter and Finty. Especially now that it's cold and raining! It makes me think I should be taking the jetBlue flight!!

  3. Aww, so sweet! Merry Christmas, Amy. I love you!


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