Friday, October 16, 2009

things that suck


three of my blessings.
one of them blessed me with a present floating in the tub tonight.
it was awesome.
it went like this:
jack, are you ready to get out of the tubby?
why are you crouching down, bubby?
oh, no. no no no no no no. wait! no!
no! get your hands off it! GARY!!!
*********

Aren't I a totally eloquent writer? Don't you love my thoughtful and awe-inspiring posts?
I am a little frustrated and my usual dvr-ed shows are not pulling me out of my slump enough.

I have decided, after much consideration and deep thought, that being poor sucks. I mean really, really, super-dooper sucks. I have been soooo positive lately. Thinking all kinds of thoughts like, --"you know, this has really helped me to learn how to be thrifty and budget-conscious."
or this pearl:
--"I am learning that we are really a happy family and that's what counts, not the fact that I am wearing the same shirt I bought three years ago for the 555th time."
And all those things are true. Truly. And I have bought some dang awesome things at Goodwill and thrift stores that I am mighty proud of (exhibit A: Emma's $50 Hanna Andersson clogs I found brand new for $2.99). And really, my children are healthy and happy and my life is good and of my choosing.

But.
I am giving myself just tonight to throw a good old fashioned hiss and feel sorry for myself. I would advise you to click this blog closed now before you get sucked in to my shame spiral.
Okay, you were warned.

Actually, I typed a whole list of worries about upcoming costs ($300 thyroid test, Gary's $400 car bill) but then stopped because I realized I'm just being ridiculous and selfish. Boo hoo, poor me. The reality is, someone always has it better than you, someone always has it worse. And really, normally, I'm fine. It's just today...today I feel tired. But it's 11:29 and so today is almost over, anyway.

There are two songs we sing at church that have been going through my mind this week. The first one is "Count Your Blessings," about...you guessed it! Counting your blessings. So I do.
I have a husband who adores me.
I have happy, healthy, beautiful children.
I have a home.

I have dear friends and good family.

The second song is "Have I Done Any Good?" Which is about...right again!....serving others. It goes like this:

Have I done any good in the world today?
Have I helped any one in need?
Have I cheered up the sad, and made someone feel glad?
If not, I have failed, indeed.

Has anyone's burden been lightened today, because I was willing to care?
Have the sick and the needy, been helped on their way?

When they needed my help was I there?

Then wake up, and do something more
than dream of your mansions above.
Doing good is a pleasure, a joy beyond measure,
A blessing of duty and love.
During general conference we were reminded about service, in this beautiful talk titled, "What Have I done for Someone Today?"
We were encouraged gently and lovingly to focus on others rather than ourselves. This is something I am striving to work on.
Life is often very hard. Very hard. It can be relentless. In my opinion, it is part of our progression. We can kick against it (which I guess I am doing tonight), or grow.
After tonight, anyway.
Besides, I have to go scrub my tub.

8 comments:

  1. First you made me laugh, then you made me think, then I laughed again (cause you had to clean your tub).

    I hope you know how much all you relatives of mine helped me when I was in Florida. I probably would have sunk into the depths of despair without that visit. And, hey, I have to come back so you can do good, again!

    But, you're right. Sometimes you just have to say how much life sucks (don't tell my kids I said that, it's a no-no word in our house)then you move forward and do the best you can!

    The other day I ran into one of my friends, we're both Gymboree loving moms. She was telling me about the cute stuff she bought her daughter this year. I told her I couldn't afford Gymboree this year, but my son got a better leg! Worth it? I'd say so. But does it suck? Yep!

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  2. hahahah! We can laugh about this with each other.....i'm so done with poop! and i'm glad to know i'm not alone. it makes me feel like I can keep on plugging along, cleaning it up....and it will all be okay! :) Hang in there. I'm with ya! loved this post and the positive spin on it even though you were giving yourself your moment to moan. :) love ya1

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  3. I like the songs, minus this line: "If not, I have failed, indeed." 'cuz some days, getting through the day is good enough. Besides, you serve every day! Your family, you are giving so much service to your children. That counts, too. You're entitled to a whoa is me fest every-now-and-then. if anything, it is helping you to gain perspective. ))))HUGS(((( Max doesn't like to bathe with Bella any more for that very reason... he thinks she's going to poop when her bum hits the water.

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  4. This is why I love blogging. It is nice to relate with someone else. I have been feeling so frustrated and exhausted lately too. Thanks for the reminder to "Count my Blessings", I have a lot. One of my biggest blessings, nobody has pooped in the tub at my house for awhile!

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  5. Amy... you have helped the needy and hurt on my way... you have listened to the sad and helped me feel just a little more glad. Oh yes you have ministered to me.

    I love you dear friend!!
    xoKymmie

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  6. Amy,
    You do so much for me - even from a distance - even when it's been a while since we've talked. I wish I could do more for you.
    Please know that I love you.
    xoxo,
    charlene

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  7. You guys, I have not checked my computer for two days. I came back to such lovely messages. Thanks so much, although I don't know if you come back and read this!! I appreciate it all. And I have not had to fish for poops for two days so that's good. Love you all.

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  8. and jamie...oh gymboree! I actually worked there when laura was six months. just two mornings a week to get a nice fat discount!

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