the remains of the day

It is 10:37 pm.
I am wrapping up my day.
My hair is everywhere, my makeup sweat off long ago. I am tired.
We went to the playground/water-play area in Sarasota. It was a lovely day, and we had a great time. Jack went up and down and up and down and up and down the stairs. What is it about stairs that is so fascinating to the toddler set?

I can hear Gary in his office, typing away, getting ready for the next day.

I am thinking I need to remember to write in my journal funny things about Jack, before he moves on and we forget. No matter how much you think you will remember, you will forget.
I want to write how he yells, "I TUMMING" whenever I tell him to come here or come on. How he will stop what he is doing to toddle over and kiss me or lay his head in my lap. How he looks at me with adoration in his eyes, sometimes before he smears messy hands on my face. I need to remember how he arches his back and screams if you DARE to cut his food. I'm serious, he feels he is a big boy. If I am going to cut his toast or chicken I have to do it before he comes in the room or he is personally offended. I remember how we played monster tonight and I followed him around on my hands and knees and Oh My Goodness my 36-year-old wrists and knees DID NOT appreciate the game like Jack did. I really love this age of his. He is just so full of love and joy. Unless you try to cut his food.

Today I was thinking I need to be a better mother, and then Emma wrapped her arms around me and said, "Oh Mommy, you are the best mommy ever. I just love you." And I think, what did I do to deserve that kind of love? I guess I will take it now because in three years she will be horror-of-all-horrors a teenager.

Laura did not kiss or wrap her arms around me because she is going through a stage. A stage is a very nice PC way of saying she is being a pain lately. It's not really that bad, but she is feeling her boundaries a bit. We'll just leave it at that.

Now I will head to the kitchen and do my last of the day tidy. Get the dishes in the machine, think about food for tomorrow, and pick up the family room floor. I have this phobia that the fire dept will come in the middle of the night and think, "Wow this place is a mess" and we can't have that.

Then I will crawl into bed, read a few minutes of "The Tenant of Wildfell Hall," and then I will turn out the lights, stare out the window and wish it was a full moon. I will hope I did the best I could today, and try to do better tomorrow.

Good night.