Mormon Girl in the Bible Belt

Jack, Mommy's in a bad mood. Let's make mad faces. That's not very mad. Come on, pretend like you can't afford botox.

Ok, forget it.

Come on, Laura, wallow with me. Be mad. The world may be your oyster, but guess what? Oysters are gross.


I'm in a crabby mood. I don't know if it's because it's Friday the 13th or because school is starting or because it's a bad time of month if you know what i'm sayin and I think you do, or I because I stayed up late watching a show about the Navy Seals training on the Military Channel. I don't know how I found it but it was awesome. And every time they did their thousandth push up I hurt for them while I laid there in my nice, cushy bed.

I am so crabby. Today I am dumping any blogs where the mom is a little too happy or cute or perfect. Also some of these really tacky craft blogs. Seriously, is it just me, or who would put a huge wooden die (as in dice) on their coffee table just because somebody did it on a blog? Or this other blog where this girl transformed a shirt into something so awful my friend Mandy actually called me on the phone about it and we laughed so hard. Now I'm just being mean, but the point is I think there is such pressure to perform on blogs, you know, to be super crafty or creative or super mom and how can anyone live up to that? I stopped trying a looooong time ago, people. I mean, Lord knows I'm not crafty for crap but just be yourself, I guess, stop trying so hard. You've either got it or you don't, and I know I don't so there's no pressure there.

Then, I saved up enough money to take a writing class at the non-credit division of the community college. I know what you're thinking: from this blog honey, I would not waste the time. I know, I know, but I don't really try here, or proofread, I just kind of try to keep the flying milk bottles away from my computer and that's about as good as it gets. Anyway, I look at the schedule and there are two piddly writing classes, as opposed to last semester's six. And they are bland, and not even taught by an author. I am so disappointed. Also disappeared? The French 2 class I wanted to take. I really wanted to do something for myself and now I don't know what to do.

So as you can tell, I am now officially wallowing in self-pity and crabbiness. And really, this is the kind of post where I should probably give it a day before I hit "publish," but I'm going to just let it rip anyway. After all, there are these children who vaguely look like me circling my table asking for crazy things like food and attention. Children are so egocentric. It's so rude.

As soon as Gary gets here, we are going to go get something to eat, then I'm going to go to Target and buy a bike. Then maybe I'll get a basket to put small dogs in and let the "Wicked Witch from the West" music accompany me.