Thursday, March 11, 2010

A conversation with myself (yes, I have these a lot)

Me: I want another baby. They're so cute and cuddly and smell good.

Me: What the mother flipping crap are you thinking? Do you remember the last time you went to the bathroom alone or showered for longer than 3 minutes or had a clean house or a mattress free of spit-up?

Me: But then I would have four. A nice even number.

Me: Get a dog. That makes four, too.

Me: But I'm a Mormon. Aren't Mormons supposed to have a buttload of kids?

Me: Mormons are stupid. You'll never be able to afford to get back to France at this rate.

Me: There's always France at Epcot.

Me: Are you on crack? Seriously? Besides Disney for six people is expensive.

Me: True. But I can't bear to put my baby things away for good. They're so tiny and sweet, and I love them. I can't not ever use my sweet baby blankets anymore.

Me: Think of Jack. He's got one year left in diapers and that's it. FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING HOLY YOU'RE ALMOST AT THE FINISH LINE.

Me: No more itsy bitsy spider. No more Raffi. No more lavender baby soap.

Me: No more car seats! No more milk stains all over the side of your car door! No more broken remotes and ground in cheerios! NO MORE DIAPERS! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME WOMAN?

Me: Jack is so cute.

Me: So is FREEDOM! And might I add, Jack was the literal definition of hell the first year.

Me: Okay, you've got me on that one. But you do have big boobs when you're pregnant.

Me: True.

Me: So, okay?

Me: HECK NO.

Me: Damn.

9 comments:

  1. Hehehe, I love your posts, they are the BEST!!! You've got plenty of time to let it linger, no need to make decisions right now. For a long time, especially after breaking my hip and pelvic bone, I thought I was done at two, now I'm itching for that third one. Give it some time and see which voice gets louder! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh. My. Gosh. We are long lost twins. :) The numbers are different, and some of the words (i might be a little more severe than you), but otherwise, are you me?

    ReplyDelete
  3. I know!! But I hear of women who KNOW if they are done or not, and I think, why doesn't that happen to me?

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am one of those women who know they are NOT done... and it saddens me that it just may be over. SO I am the angel on your shoulder (or is it the devil on the other side...hehehe) telling you to listen to ME: #1... =) (but in all fairness I've SO had similiar conversations with myself too...)!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/focus_features/babies/

    ReplyDelete
  6. Charlene I totally saw that trailer before a movie a couple weeks ago! I loved it!! When we saw the little biting baby at the beginning of the movie Gary and I both looked at each other and said, "It's Jack!!!"

    ReplyDelete
  7. I so get the even number deal. I have five. My favorite number has always been six (sixth child in my family, June 6th birthday).

    But it might be time. I'll be 43 this year!

    Good luck deciding. It is hard...they are so cute. : )

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...